The "Sanctity" of Marriage??

(Written by Miss Illinois US Beauties Jordan)

If you have read in the news or online blogs lately, you might have seen that there is a storm sweeping across the country on the issue of gay marriage.  Several states have proposed or passed laws allowing gays the right to marry while other states are rejecting or striking down these new laws.  California seems to be the focal point of this issue, and the issue of gay marriage is expected to be heard by the U.S. Supreme Court sometime in the near future, where a final official ruling will be made once and for all.

Amidst all of this debate over the issue of gay marriage, the main (and ONLY) argument that has been stated against allowing gays to marry is that it would “destroy the sanctity of marriage.”  Lame.  And it is that very argument that I must speak on right now in this blog.  What “sanctity” of marriage is the Right Wing talking about?!?!  What “sanctity” is there left to defend and protect in the institute of marriage?!?  I am not married, but I know many, MANY people who are married, and I have keenly observed married couples everywhere and listened to stories about their marriages…and divorces.  The number of people I know who are divorced is more than the number of people I know who are still married.  I I have observed the “wedding” craze that so many girls and young women are socialized by our culture into desperately wanting to get married…even if it means giving up on their own education, goals, and dreams.  I have heard many young women say, “I HAVE to get married and start a family by the time I’m 25 or else I’ll just die!!  My life will be ruined!”  

Gay marriage would not destroy heterosexual marriages… heterosexual couples are already destroying their own marriages.  There are people who get married at the slightest whim or in a reckless haste when they are bedazzled by lust and infatuation.  Everyone knows someone who got married by sudden impulse where their friends and family say, “It’ll never last.”  Too many young women are obsessed with the thought of the wedding itself and being a “beautiful bride” instead of focusing on what REALLY matters:  the marriage itself.  They are so busy obsessing and fantasizing about their dream wedding and all of the attention that being a bride will bring them that they are forgetting to ask themselves the important questions:  “Is this the right time in my life to settle down and get married?  Should I wait and finish all of my education first?  Is this really the man I want to spend the rest of my life with?   How will we deal with big issues and tough times that may happen in our marriage?  Will I be able to support myself if my husband were to die or leave me…. or if I suddenly had to leave him?”  If you make a decision that will affect the rest of your life, you better really think it through with a clear mind and not make the decision based on feelings, emotions, or the notions that the media/culture dictates.

Sadly, many young women aren’t even assessing whether or not they are ready to handle the monogamy that comes with marriage.  An old friend of mine recently told me about his own marriage experience.  He is 29 years old and already divorced after only 2 years of marriage.  He and his ex-wife had the $60,000 dream wedding that she had always wanted….and then she cheated on him with an old boyfriend only a month after their wedding.  I have already published an article discussing the low self-esteem affecting many of the young women in our culture and their need to validate their self-worth and gauge their physical attractiveness by how much attention they can attract from men.  When you enter into a committed relationship like marriage, the days of flirting with other men and actively seeking their attention are over and done.  The same goes for married men, too.  The only one you should be checking out, flirting with, or sleeping with is your spouse. For some people who have always had a hard time being monogamous, it can be even more challenging when they have taken marriage vows and have a spouse who isn’t around them all the time due to work, traveling, etc.  And that’s when the true test of commitment and maturity comes in.  It may be tough being married to someone who has to spend a lot of time away from you, but a truly committed wife or husband will stick it out and remain faithful to their spouse.  A good wife or husband would never even THINK of cheating on their spouse, especially just because their spouse isn’t around 24/7 to give them attention whenever they want it.  Marriage is not for quitters or for people who have no patience or run to mommy when things go bad.  Marriage is for mature adults who realize and understand that there will be some tough roads ahead when they make the commitment to spend the rest of their lives with someone, yet they are committed to staying the course.

I see no valid argument for denying gays the right to marry based on the fear that it would destroy the “sanctity of heterosexual marriage” when so many heterosexual couples are hastily marrying one-night-stands out of blinding lust, cheating on their spouses when they don’t get enough attention from them, and view being a bride and wife as something to brag about to non-married people.  There are homosexual couples who have been faithfully together for ten years or longer, yet they are not allowed to validate their love and commitment to each other through a legal marriage simply because they are both of the same gender.  Yet a heterosexual couple who just met and hooked up at a bar the night before can run to Vegas or the nearest courthouse and make vows to God that they won’t end up keeping to commit to each for the rest of their life.  It is a blatant, ugly, glaring hypocrisy.  I’m not saying that every gay marriage would be perfect and last forever, but heterosexuals have no business preaching about the sanctity of marriage and excluding gays from it when we ourselves have made a mockery out of the institution of marriage with our own bad behavior.  If the "sanctity" of marriage is the only argument we have to use against the legalization of gay marriage, then we better come up with a better argument QUICK lest we want to continue to looking like complete bigoted hypocrites!  Before we heterosexuals get on our high horses and begin preaching about the “evils” of gay marriage and the damage it will cause to the institution of marriage, we need to take a long hard look at the damage WE are doing to the institution of marriage.